Self-Compassion For Dummies by Steven Hickman

Author:Steven Hickman [Hickman, Steven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781119796701
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2021-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

Practice: Uncovering your core values

If you are willing to explore self-compassionately within yourself to identify your inner compass and what you are living for and what is getting in the way, then the exercise in this section is for you.

Like many other such exercises in this book, this one is extensively drawn from an exercise called Discovering Our Core Values in the Mindful Self-Compassion program, and that exercise is adapted from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the work of Hayes, Strosahl, and Wilson (2003). The process is intended to take you a bit deeper to discover the core values that are already a part of who you are and see where you can better align with them, as well as how self-compassion may support you in that shift.

Even if you aren’t a person inclined to follow and do multi-step exercises like this one, there is a “short form” that may be helpful. Take the time to look around at your particular situation (your home, your partner, your job, your hobbies and activities, your friends and family, your church, and your community). Take each one in turn and ask yourself, “What is it about this person or thing that brings up my joy and satisfaction, or my discomfort and dissatisfaction?” In other words, look below the particular features of meaningful things to the essence of what they bring (or don’t bring) to your life. This will provide clues to your core values and a rudimentary map for the road ahead (and maybe inspire you to do this full exercise too!).

To prepare for this reflective exercise, it would be helpful to have paper and pencil nearby, or a keyboard to record your thoughts and observations. Once you have this, take a moment to “clear the decks,” close your eyes, and settle yourself in to this moment. Maybe even give yourself a little warm inner smile of welcome to this moment and this exercise on what is most important to you. You might remember that this is just a continuation of your life, in which you have sought happiness, joy, and satisfaction all along, sometimes with more or less awareness of what brings that joy, but always with a good, warm heart that simply wants to be happy and free from suffering.

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